Saturday, May 14, 2005
not feeling good for the past few hours. 've got this sinking feeling as the mind-boggling decisions slowly creep into my head and they make me feel so sick.
i think i'm going mad soon... as much as 've tired to push these unecessary worries aside, somehow, 've been actually thinking abt them unknowingly. (yea, if thats ever possible...) i cant do anything to stop these horrible thoughts from filling my mind. u could advise me to cry it all out, holler to the sea, but i doubt it'll ever work. its like i'm choking, drowning... i cant really describe it.
've confided in my dearie when i 1st had the doubts. but lately, 've been doing alot of denial and self deceit... so when i'm approached with the topic, i'd just look away.pretending not to hear. bent on stopping the chain of thoughts that was sure to follow.
P.S. dear... i noe the advices are genuinely for my own good. but somehow, i cant bring myself to listen and face a decision that i'll rather not have to make. that's why i'm clinging on to my last hope. but as the days go by, my only hope dwindles to almost nothing.
now, i'm overwhelmed. the negative thoughts have won over me today. and i cant get out of this crazy situation. i had the sudden urge to blog, cos there's no 1 whom i can talk to right now.
how many others are also like me?
help me... i cant sleep well these days...
fluttered by @ 9:58 pm
[ the girl ]
[ name ] elena tan
[ bday ] 20. 12. 1985
[ email ] elenatyy[at]gmail.com
[ loves ]
my love, Ban
my family
my friends
my 2 absolutely sweet babies; Rain & Bou
Korean serial dramas and culture