[ simply me ]

Thursday, November 09, 2006

down in the pits... Again.

lots of things happened. anyways, it just goes to show that there's lots of "inequalities" everywhere.

when ur stuck in a situation of being treated unfairly, sometimes its not that easy to resolve it by, " speaking up for yourself." its really easier said than done. at our age, i think we tend to think more about others than we think for ourselves. i would rather bottle it all up inside, than to confront the issue and make everyone upset. its better for one person to feel sad than to have everyone angry at each another, and worse still, the problem still there unresolved.

lots of things still affect me up to this day and i wonder if its some emotional scars that i'll keep with me for the rest of my life. i badly wanna throw it all aside and live my life carefree, although i wouldnt deny that i've made great improvements already.

i think the perfectionist in me is up to mischief again as i find myself unable to look into the mirror at myself closely. i hate the person i see, i feel so disappointed in myself.

i know i have a big problem, it comes back now and then to torment me. i just wanna start my life all over again. bullshit to the saying that mistakes help us grow.

one thing that i'm very sure its not a mistake is to meet Ban. he's the pillar that keeps my world from crumbling. without him, you wouldnt even see this lamenting entry. if i hadnt met him, i would have be long gone from the face of this earth.

fluttered by @ 12:15 pm